Women

It takes a great deal of courage to look at our sexual behaviours. We were once where you are, but SAA has changed our lives.

We no longer feel ashamed and are free to enjoy ourselves and the world around us. You are welcome to contact us. You are no longer alone.

Sex addiction

Our addictive sexual behaviours take many forms, they’re not the same for everyone. The similarity is that once we start, we find it difficult to stop. They might have felt exciting initially but then the shame kicks in. We soothed our pain by acting out more. We damaged our relationships with friends and family as we struggled with our emotions, often lashing out in anger, or hiding away. There are a whole variety of sexual behaviours that can become addictive:

• one-night stands
• fantasizing
• pornography
• chat rooms
• sexting
• fetishism
• provocative clothing
• stalking
• compulsive masturbation
• flirtation
• affairs
• exhibitionism
• sex work
• multiple partners
• serial dating
• avoiding healthy sexual activity

We call our behaviours ‘acting out’. We reached rock bottom and realised something had to change.  This is when we looked for recovery.

When I visited the website and completed the questionnaire, I thought everyone in the world would tick every box. I was so shocked when I realised the abnormal had become normal to me.

Amy

We reached rock bottom and realised something had to change! This is when we looked for recovery.

Sanity in recovery

We quickly found that the fellowship is a safe place and we found other people just like us. Our ways of thinking and behaving changed as we surrounded ourselves with healthy, sober people who share their experience, strength and hope. We go to recovery meetings, speak to other sex addicts, read literature and work with others. We make friends among the fellowship and support each other in reaching and keeping the goal of sobriety.

When I came into SAA I immediately felt less crazy. That I wasn't the only woman to have this problem. Just being able to talk to someone who could understand what I was saying and to whom I could speak. All the women I spoke to in those first few weeks 'got it', we spoke the same language.

Fiona

Women in SAA meetings

You may find yourself the only woman in an SAA meeting but you are not alone.  There is a strong network of women in SAA across the UK who support and sponsor each other.  We do belong and you will find help here.

Whilst it is rare for someone to speak or behave inappropriately, if this happens we can say we feel uncomfortable, or we can step away - we do not have to explain ourselves.

We don’t have to make physical contact, shake hands, hug or give our number to anyone, even if others in the meeting do.  We also realise that we have to watch our own behaviour too, to keep others safe.

We have some suggestions for how to keep your own boundaries in a meeting in our women’s welcome letter (this is a PDF file).

I walked into my first meeting and 6 guys greeted me, they respected my space, made me tea and showed me literature. I’ve never felt as safe with a group of guys as I did with recovering sex addicts.

Deborah

What do I do now?

Get in touch

Phone or text our women’s helpline on 07766 075247 to leave a message on our voicemail.

Email us at [email protected]. We will get back to you as soon as we can.

Attend a meeting

In the UK, there are over 150 SAA meetings, online meetings and telephone meetings a week which allow us to connect with fellows and share the message of recovery. Meetings may be mixed and open to all sex addicts or created for specific groups such as women. We recommend asking women which meetings they attend.

SAA Literature

Check out our programme literature, which can be accessed for free online or ordered through the SAA website Shop. We find hope and motivation in the literature we read and share with each other. The SAA leaflet, 'The Bubble’ is a great place to start to find identification.

SAA Events

SAA women get together at our annual women’s Recovery Day - contact [email protected] - and at mixed SAA Recovery Days. 

SAA Worldwide

Find more information and stories on the SAA international website.

Sex addicts of every gender, sexual orientation, race and belief system are welcome in SAA. There are no fees, forms or waiting lists. We practise strict anonymity and confidentiality and we don’t oppose other forms of therapy or treatment – we just offer our experience and you’re free to take it or leave it.  It's a simple programme and it is working for us.

June 2021